WE SHARE WITH YOU EXCERPTS FROM SOME OF THE MEMORIAL SPEECHES MADE IN MEMORY OF STUART

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Hillel W. LCDR, LDO, US Navy

B'nai Baghdad Member

Shomer to Stuart

Excerpt from Memorial Service at Phoenix Base, Baghdad, Iraq before Angel Flight to the USA, April 9, 2008

I still recall the first day he attended Shabbat, everyone gives an introduction; and Stu spoke at length about his children, parents, his bride, sister, the farm, and his career. I found myself leaning forward as he spoke, as if being drawn into an elaborate and beautiful painting.

What I would like you to know is that Stu was a phenomenal soldier, a compassionate friend and I consider him my brother. I am a better person after having known him and served with him. When we were alerted that Stu had passed away, 6 of us got together as quickly as possible, went straight to the hospital, were escorted in to be with him, and we prayed over him, reading psalms, standing beside him, all the way until such time as he was lifted into the heavens by the Angel flight helicopters. It was my distinct honor and privilege to be with him.

In our Navy tradition, when someone retires, we read something called "The Watch."

 

Today, we are here to say, "Stu: Husband, Dad, Son, Brother, Friend and fellow Soldier, the watch stands relieved. Relieved by those you have raised, given advice, mentored, sacrificed and loved the only way you know how - gently and compassionately.

 

 

 

Cambell P. Lt Col, Australian Army

Stuart's Commanding Officer

Escorted Stuart on to the Angel Flight to the USA

Phoenix Base, Baghdad, Iraq, April 9, 2008

 

The following words come from Ferdinand Foch, at the Battle of the Marne.  They also appear on the wall in the coffee shop here at Phoenix Base, and as many of you would be aware they also appeared on the bottom on emails from Stu Wolfer.

"Hard pressed on my right. My centre is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent.  I attack."

For me this simple quote goes a long way to summing up the man, Stuart Wolfer.

Stu loved a challenge.  I never saw him flinch at any task, rather he reveled in adversity.  He prided himself on his ability to get to the heart of a problem, quickly and with little fuss.  It rarely took Stu more than a day to also present you with a glossy PowerPoint presentation summarizing the issue.  So for me, there will always be a special link between Stu and Ferdinand Foch.

 

IT was his charisma, energy and enthusiasm for getting things done – and done right – THAT was incredible. So when Stu was being hard pressed, had no room to maneuver – he reveled in the challenge and then...STU WOLFER definitely ‘ATTACKED’.

 

 

Tony R. Captain, US Army

Stuart's Roommate in Baghdad, Iraq

Escorted Stuart on to the Angel Flight to the USA

Phoenix Base, Baghdad, Iraq, April 9.2008

 

I sit and wait for him to come around the corner with that grin! I wait for him to call or email to say let's do dinner at the palace. I know it won't happen but it's like I just want to wake up from this nightmare of a dream I am having.

 

Working together was STU!! He used to play cricket with the local guys here on the soccer field before he had a minor tear of his calf muscle.The guys were mostly Muslim but that never stopped Stu from playing. I remember asking him about it and how he could when they hated him even though they did not know him. He simply smiled that smile and said make a difference. Oh and he wanted to get to the point where he was not picked last! He made that clear to me a couple of times.

 

It is not until now, that I know what STU meant to accomplish! He would get to know them so that one day he would tell them he was Jewish and their mental blocks would not be up. Why because they knew STU and I do not know one person who did not like STU.

 

STU was the most loving and caring man I ever knew. While he was in Iraq he would make a point to get out and talk to people to engage them in conversation to learn what they did so he could better understand the Iraqi Army process.

 

I know our customs and beliefs differ, but I truly believe that STU was an angel. He brought forth a light in these dark times; we seem to live in, with such love. The kind of man Stu was he was personally greeted by G-D, for he was such a great guy.  He would just make you happy to be around him, that grin is something I will remember forever.

 

I will always be indebted to your entire family for making a man like Stu,

 

Please offer my condolences to your parents, family, and Lee

 

 

Kelly M.

Fellow B'nai Baghdad Member

Shomer to Stuart

Private Contractor, Baghdad, Iraq

April, 2008
 

Stuart was a fellow congregant of our shul and he was destined to be our next lay leader, or so we thought.  Stuart was a mensch: Intelligent, articulate, friendly, compassionate, dedicated to his family and country.  

 

On Sunday, a fellow congregant called and informed me of Stuart’s death and asked if I could come join with some others to be with Stuart’s body.  We met at the hospital and the chaplain escorted us to where Stuart lay.  We recited Psalms until it was time for the Angel Flight  which took his body to Balad and eventually on to the United States.  The somber honor, dignity, and respect with which the military treated his remains and those of the two other men who made the same journey was a tribute to their sacrifice. 

 

 

Andy P.

Fellow B'nai Baghdad Member

Baghdad, Iraq
State Department

April, 2008
 

As I imagine you already know, Stu volunteered to assume an active role in our congregation (B'nai Baghdad).  Major Beth R., our loved and respected Lay Leader, will be leaving at the end of her tour in May, and Stu was our community's unanimous choice to replace her.  His natural leadership, his deeply held religious convictions, his sense of community, his ties to his family in the U.S., and his wry, good humor made him the obvious choice to lead our weekly services and serve as our liaison with the military's chaplain service.

 

Stu continued his habit of asking "why".  Each week, Beth would summarize the major themes of the weekly Torah portion, and we'd engage in a lively debate – we are Jewish, after all – about the meaning of the portion, about the Talmudic commentaries that Beth highlighted, about how the Torah portion impacted our lives.  Stu was always an active participant in these discussions, and we all benefitted from his questioning, his intelligence, his ability to connect the Torah to our lives.

 

 

Craig R.

Officemate & Friend in Baghdad, Iraq

Major, Australian Coalition Forces

April 9, 2008

 

 

 

Allan M.

Sales Manager, Thomson West

Excerpt from funeral service

April 11, 2008 Des Moines, Iowa

 

During Stu's interview, he handed me a document titled: A partnership agreement between Thomson West and Stuart Adam Wolfer.

 In that agreement, Stu listed his core values that he was committed to, in order: 

God, Family, Country, Duty, Friendship and lastly self.

 

Stu told me that if I hired him on, he would remain committed to his values and that he would not let me down. He was a man of his word and he made me and everyone at Thomson so very proud.

 

I was fortunate in that he allowed me to interact with him on two of his core values – Duty and Friendship.

 

His commitment to his Duty at Thomson West was extraordinary. These last few weeks I have received literally, hundreds of emails from his fellow colleagues at Thomson and his customers in Idaho and Montana, expressing to me how Stu had positively impacted their lives.

 

They all have a similar theme – That through knowing Stu, they have all been inspired to be better. To achieve more, to be committed more, and to love each other more. He had the most unique ability to engage partnering relationships with everyone that he worked with and he was relentless about the successful execution of every goal that he and our sales team had.

 

Stu has left a legacy within our company of dedication, passion, engagement, commitment, learning and teaming for success and to have the strength and courage to share all of that with others. He demanded excellence from himself and he expected it from others - I am a better person  because of his influence and there are many others in our company that were equally inspired by him to do their very best.

 

His commitment to our friendship was equally extraordinary. Next to my wife and children, Stu was the first person that talked with me every morning and the last one that called me in the evening.

 

We shared each other’s outlook calendars – he knew where I was and what I was doing each day, and I knew his. When he knew that I had a challenge, a difficult meeting, or presentation that I was scheduled to give that day, there would always be an email in my inbox that morning from him.

 

 It would always say: “You are a Winner – Have a Great Day”.

 

 

Eric S.

College Friend/signed Stuart & Lee's Ketubah/Pallbearer at his Funeral

Excerpt from Funeral Service

April 11, 2008 Des Moines, Iowa

 

When I talk about freedoms, I’m not just talking about free speech and free religion….I’m talking about the freedom to pursue your own dreams; the freedom to choose with whom you spend the rest of your life; the freedom to take risks; the freedom to fail; the freedom to have, state and own your own opinion; the freedom to cry; the freedom to smile; the freedom to choose anything.  And when I think about freedom and what makes America great, I think about Stuart.  Stuart - was the poster child - for the greatness - of America. 

 

I once described him as “the rudest, nicest guy I ever knew.”  When I use the word rude to describe him, it wasn’t that Stuart was rude – it was that Stuart was free -- and that Stuart embraced and capitalized on these same freedoms that so many other people overcomplicate. 

 

If Stuart wanted to say something, he just said it and said it now.  If Stuart wanted to do something, he just did it, did it now and did it in his own way.  

 

Stuart was both the passionate creator and unrelenting pursuer of his own dreams. As a whole, Stuart defined himself…and, to his credit…and in no small part due to the support and contributions of so many of you here today…Stuart evolved into a man of class, character, common sense and courage.  Stuart became a true American patriot. 

 

What I realize is that the victims, the real victims, are not the people who knew Stuart, the real victims are the people who never met Stuart….They are the ones who met him once or twice, but never kept in touch….They are the ones who knew him well, but because of some form of bitterness or anger chose to never reconcile.  They are the real victims.   And the reason that they are the victims is that they are the ones who have lost that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see…feel…know…touch…love…and experience the greatness of Stuart.

 

 

Zach D.

Junior at J.P.Taravella High School

Excerpt from bio written for J.P. Taravella Presents, A Tribute to our Fallen Heroes 9/11/2008

 

Passionate, dedicated, kind, caring, motivated, considerate, an inspiration to all of us. These are the words to describe a hero. A man so impassioned about his country that he would sacrifice everything he knows just to see that the red, white, and blue always stands strong. Major Stuart Adam Wolfer was that hero! In the society in which we live today, actions such as holding a door for someone, letting an elder take your seat because there is nowhere else to sit, or even giving up your spot on the Taravella football team because you want to help build homes for families who are less fortunate is the rarest qualities to find. For Stuart, this was his way of life, a man with a heart of gold and the courage of a titan!

 

Nevertheless, with every dark cloud, there will always by a ray of sunshine, a hand of G-d whispering that “it will be ok, that America will soon reach the golden gates of success overseas!” Brother-in-law John Nerenberg said it best. “We’re only failing him if we let his message, his love for all People and commitment to change for peace, be silenced with the end of his life.”

           

 

Jean & Cara B.

Attended Congregation B'nai Torah Memorial Service, May 4, 2008

Boca Raton, Fl

 

This morning en route to school, Cara,13, reminded me to have a great day and then said choose wisely, be nice!*  Stu has touched another young life who will carry on his message of tikkun olam here at B'nai Torah and beyond.

 

 

We share some of the notes we have received over the past months

If you have a story, memory, or contribution to make to this section, please email us at info@msawi.org to be included

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I worked with Stu at West.  I found him - as many others have pointed out - to be a great guy.  He spoke fondly of his family and other's achievements while rarely of himself.  HE earned his living as a lawyer, soldier, and salesman, yet he cherished his title of Husband, Father and Friend.  Stu always presented himself as a gentleman.  He truly was a gentle man.

Mike Z.

Colleague from Thomson West

Excerpt from Legacy.com entry

 

Stu was a terrific human being and a model for all.  I will never forget his smile and can-do attitude.  He was the "positive" energy in our unit and a motivator among the troops.  I am proud to have served along-side him and will never forget his sacrifice.

LTC Evelyn C.

Excerpt from Legacy.com entry

 

We had just had the "flood of 93" (in Iowa) and Stuart was ready to help my family in any way possible, as my father had a business downtown and we were staying there 24/7 to protect the place from looters.

My dad and his brothers slept there with guns until the havoc was over.  Stuart would say "I'll get a bunch of my friends and we will go to help."  When the floodwaters almost hit the back door of my father's business, Stuart said "I'll gather my friends and we will fill bags of sand to put around the building."

Miriam

Friend from Iowa

Excerpt from Legacy.com entry

 

Major Stuart A. Wolfer was a Cpt when I had the great opportunity to work in the same office with him, he was my OIC.  He was a guy that you can get in an argument one second and the next you're the best of friends again (smile) Maj. Wolfer was...IS a great American soldier, whom will be truly missed.

Sgt. Leslie L.

Camp Beurhing, Kuwait S-2

Excerpt from Legacy.com entry

 

MAJ Wolfer was an awesome representative of Judaism.  He was the first person of the Jewish faith that I got to spend a lot of time with and he was kind enough to share some of his religious customs with me.  He invited me and several other members of our unit to participate in the Passover Seder for which he procured all the food and drink.  I found the entire experience very interesting but I enjoyed most hearing his reflections and experiences from the Seders of his youth. He was always willing to share not only about his faith but his beloved family as well.

 

While I continued each day to be amazed with what an awesome officer MAJ Wolfer was I realized he was equally gifted as husband and father as a colleague and friend.  I liked working with him.  I liked being around him.  He was unique, he was energetic, he was enthusiastic, he was confident, and he made me confident in our ability to do our mission.  I'm blessed to have had the chance to meet and work with him. I have thought of him many times since we were in Kuwait.  I'm sure I will continue to think of him as long as I live.

CSM Mark M.

Served with Stuart in Kuwait

Excerpt from Legacy.com entry

 

Stuart and I attended the same middle school together.  While we were never close friends, I always admired him for his confidence and easy going manner at an age when most of us could barely muster the strength to make eye contact with somebody. After more than 20 years, I still have a vivid memory of Stuart perched on top of his desk with a big grin on his face and surrounded by friends.  He'll be missed, but not forgotten.

Boyd V.

Ramblewood Middle School Friend

Excerpt from Legacy.com entry

 

I had the pleasure of seeing Stu every month at the Missoula DoubleTree hotel.  Stu was so much more than our guest. I will miss seeing him in his trademark sweater vests and old college sweatshirts.

Stu's stories, friendship, and smile will remain with us as we honor his incredible life.  Our prayers are with the entire Wolfer family today and always.

Stu...thank you for being you!!!

The Missoula DoubleTree Family

Markie H.

Missoula,MT

 

Stuart was THE most selfless person I ever knew.  He has such a giving, caring and loving soul unlike any person I have ever known.  He made you feel special, like you were the only person that mattered when you were in his presence (or on the phone or in an email), yet he cared about and loved SO many people. I am truly heartbroken at the loss of this fine gentleman and dear friend. I think we are all blessed that he touched so many people's lives in so many different ways all over the world. His family can be proud, especially his wife Lee and his 3 beautiful children knowing what truly an amazing father, husband, soldier, professional, friend and mentor he was, amongst the many other attributes that are too long to list here.  My deepest and sincerest condolences go out to the entire Wolfer family.

Dave L.

Usher at Stuart's wedding & Pallbearer at his Funeral

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

You will be greatly missed by those who knew and loved you. You were a devoted husband, proud father, loving son and brother, trusted friend, brave soldier and wonderful human being.  My heart goes out to my family and your family at this time of great sadness and loss.  Thank you for the service and sacrifice you rendered to our nation.

You memory will live on in the lives of your three little angels Lillian, Melissa and Isadora - those who knew will make sure of it.

I love you.

Amy M.

Minneapolis, MN

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

Stuart was the brother I never had.  He was kind, dedicated and deeply religious.  He was a friend and a potential colleague. Someday I always wished we'd start Huffman & Wolfer.  I will miss him deeply.  I promise to watch over and take care of his 3 precious daughters and know I will always be reminded of him when I look at them.

Brian H.

Minneapolis, MN

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

As many have said MAJ "Stu" Wolfer, was a special kind of man.  He loved his family deeply and loved others around him.  I served with him in Kuwait on his first deployment. He wanted to see every soldier better themselves in any way possible.  He took the initiative to teach college courses at our headquarters so that every soldier there had the opportunity to seek to better themselves. To the family my sympathy for your great loss as he was truly a wonderful caring person.

SFC (Ret) Linda B.

Served in Kuwait, 2004/05 with Stuart

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

Stu and I worked together at our first job out of college and I am so proud and blessed to have been friends with him the past 15 years. A man of amazing intelligence, leadership, and integrity.  Stu was so much fun to be around.

 

His commitment to family and others was incredible.  He always spoke of the loved he had for his family.

 

I am blessed to have so many wonderful and funny "Stu Stories."  One that demonstrates his giving and thoughtful nature:

During the flood of 1993 in Des Moines my apartment lost electricity and water service.  Stu called and said "you are coming over and staying at my place for as long as you need."  I had only known him through work for a few short weeks - but here he was opening his home to me.  This is just one of the many lessons in life I would learn from Stu.

 

Stu had the incredible gift to make people feel good about life - and he did so in a genuine way.  He improved my outlook on life each and every time I came into contact with him.  A truly great man!

 

Lee and family - our family is so sorry and we are praying for you.

Kerry O.

Friend and former Colleague

Usher at Stuart's wedding & Pallbearer at his Funeral

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

My condolences to Stuart's family.  As his freshman year roommate at Wash U, Stuart's unbounded energy and perspectives on life were an inspiration.  I will never forget the laughs, the debates and his unflappable attitude.

Dave F.

Washington University Friend

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

I knew Stu throughout middle school and high school.  Although I haven't spoken to him in years, I will always think of his sparking, mischievous blue yes, his ready smile, his joy of living and his truly spiritual and Jewish "neshama."  I hope your family finds some way to peace.

 

Stuart and I spent many long hours studying together in law school.  I don't know if I would have made it through without his tireless energy, unique perspective and dedication.  His smile and laughter brightened many days.  Stuart always impressed me with his spirit -- he worked all day and was successful, went to school at night, and yet still made time to dedicate to the Big Brothers and other charitable organizations as well as fulfill his duty to the Army.  He had a tireless zest for life that I will never forget.  I am proud to have called Stuart my friend.

 

Recently, when communicating, he would describe his wife, Lee and their three beautiful daughters with such a sense of happiness and pride.  It was obvious that his biggest joy was being a husband and father.  I can only hope that Lee and the girls will find some solace in knowing that Stuart loved them more than anything else in this world.

 

Stuart was a special man and this world is a better place because of him. 

Sue G.

Loyola Law School Classmate

Newbury Park, CA

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

We have heard the numbers.  Soldiers who have died.  Brave, courageous men and women.  We knew you were in Baghdad and like many other members of your friends and family, we told ourselves that you'd be safe.  And now you are gone but we cannot say this enough; you will not be forgotten.  We will tell our three sons about the handsome, brave warrior.  But not a warrior of death and war.  We will tell them about a warrior of peace and adventure.  We will not tell them about a warrior of hate.  We will tell them about warrior of caring and love.  Stuart, we miss you of course now more than ever.  You are lost but you will not be forgotten.

Dawn & Charlie S.

Skiing friends

Bala  Cynwyd, PA

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

I worked with Stuart when he was at Jelenko.  He was so kind, respectful, and professional.  If we all had a little bit of Stuart in us it would be a much better world.  My heart goes out to each of you at this time.

Beverly S.

Spring Valley, NY

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

Stuart and I became friends over 20 years ago when we attended Ramblewood MIddle School right after he moved from NY.  I am so saddened by his passing.  He was a good man, a good friend, a hero and will be missed by many.  My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

Matthew K.

Ramblewood Middle School & JPTaravella High School friend

Denver,CO

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

I have known Lee and the whole Monthei family since almost before I can remember.  Stuart and Lee had a wonderful relationship and truly loved and understood each other.  I wish I knew the right words to say to describe what we are feeling in my family, but I don't.  There is so much confusion, so much bewilderment, so much hurt.  I wish everybody that knows these families, the Wolfers and the Montheis, does everything they can to support and care for them. I especially wish I could ease the pain of Stuart's parents somehow.  He was a wonderful husband, father and son.

Sarah A.

Des Moines, IA

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

I knew Stuart through the synagogue in Boise, Idaho; he was a truly good man. 

Jesse H.

Boise, ID

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

Stuart and I knew each other as kids in Hebrew school a long time ago.  He was sweet and cute and outgoing and a really great guy who had already done so much at such a young age.  We had just reconnected after all these years and I was excited to get to know him again.  I know this loss must be devastating for his family.  I know he really loved his family and talked about them highly.  My love and wishes are with you all in this horrible time.  I'm so sorry...We will all miss Stuart.

Mylissa G.

Hebrew School Friend

Delray Beach, Fl

Excerpt from Legacy.com

 

Baruch Dayan Emet.

 

Know that all of us from Hebrew Congregation Broken Sound hold you in our hearts, thoughts and prayers as you mourn the loss of your beloved son Stuart of Blessed Memory.

 

During High Holy Days 5768, we stood with you as we prayed for Stuart's safe return, today we weep with you.  

 

May Stuart's soul be bound up in the bond of everlasting life.

 

May G-d console you and all who mourn in Zion and Jerusalem.

 

Rabbi Suzanne C.

Hebrew Congregation of  Broken Sound, Boca Raton, FL

Excerpt from Legacy.com